Poison Ivy: 14

I do not admit this lightly. But I think that perhaps I made a mistake in encouraging the dual death of Noelle and Joaquin. Death wasn’t pleased, certainly, but what were the options, right? Should she have gone free, she would have gotten my Chosen arrested! She would have derailed the entire operation! I couldn’t have someone like that wandering around.

It was the only option.

But now, the consequences seem too much for my family of followers to bear.

There was one thing that I knew for certain when I started this whole enterprise: I didn’t know what I wanted out of a religion, what stances I wanted my followers to take, how I wanted them to worship me. But I knew that I wanted my collection of followers to expand quickly—thus the seemingly constant breeding—and I knew that the world requires balance. It’s the way of nature. The way it always has been, the way it always will be. There is a constant cycle of life into death into life. Once comes from the other, always in equal amounts. When there is too much life, nature compensates with death. When there is too much death… well, normally the consequence is more life. Or, at least, that’s what I assume the consequences would be? To be frank, I’ve never seen nature exact the consequence of too much death. The only natural example I can think of is a herd of deer—when they become too small, when too much death has come upon them, they become more vulnerable. The herd is more likely to die off.

But that won’t happen to us.

Never mind that nature seems to be rebelling against my Chosen and the house appears to be haunted…


Look at little Daphne. She seems so content playing on the computer. So alone and unbothered.


But think again! Come at it from another angle, and there’s Sergio, lurking over her shoulder. Haunting her.

Sure, she doesn’t seem to mind it too much. But that’s more of a problem for me! It means that ghosts have become commonplace in her home.


I can’t have that happening.


Is he following Daphne around? Or is he following Juniper?

Maybe this is my fault. Maybe word got around that Juniper slept with Don after he passed, and now her other lovers want her to do the same with them?

Think again, Ghost-Sergio. Until you stop coming around every single damn night, you’re not getting any from Juniper.


“He’s not getting any from me at all. That encounter with Don was too weird for me. And I can’t be getting attached to dead people, now can I?”

He’ll get some from you if I tell you to, my dear. But that’s a fair point. I’ll consider when the time comes. If he ever leaves the lot of us alone.


Maybe Rosary’s incompetence is due to the haunting too?

I hope so. It’s really a problem. She can’t even make it down the steps and out to school before passing out on the grass. Get it together, girl.

But it’s honestly doubtful. The incompetence began before the hauntings started, and well before the death of Noelle and Joaquin. That’s just the result of poor genetic mixing. Too bad you and Nightshade aren’t identical twins, huh.


Okay, see? This is surely a sign of being haunted. The Reaper came and hovered behind Rosary, just hanging out with her. Why would you do that, Reaper? It’s not her time!

Okay, yeah, so I know she came close to drowning the other day, but that doesn’t mean that you should be getting all buddy-buddy with her! Leave her alone, man, she’s not going with you.


They seem to be making friends, unfortunately…

Damn it, too many things are happening in this house. There’s no good person to attach myself too but Juniper. But I really wish I could yell at Rosary right now. For the love of Me, don’t get friendly with the Reaper.


Just don’t.

So the house of my Chosen is being haunted by ghosts and by the Reaper. Surely that would be the end of it, right? Surely nature won’t mess with us anymore?


Sergio still isn’t going to get any, but I think he knows that. He’s far too attached to the children.

Or maybe the problem is the science table? Everything’s been hovering around the people there—well, and the computer, and the kitchen table—but the science table has definitely been a theme in our haunting. Maybe nature doesn’t like science? Maybe, if we’re making life an excess of life and death we shouldn’t be messing around with chemicals?

Except, no. Because…


Is that something under the kid’s bed? We have a tentacle monster hiding beneath my kids’ beds now?

I don’t know. Here’s the rough part of being the Creator. I can observe. But I only know what I know from observation. Which means when people walk around being like, “My god sent a thunderstorm to show he’s displeased!” it really means—nature sent a thunderstorm, and now your god is puzzling over what the fuck they or their followers did wrong to make nature displeased. Sometimes nothing—the weather patterns do what they will. But hauntings don’t spontaneously happen in the way of weather patterns.


At least, I’ve never experienced them that way.



At least some of our ghosts clean.

I think I’m doing something wrong here, Juniper. But I don’t know what it is. I wish I knew how to fix it.

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