Poison Ivy: 8


Yes, brilliant. Joaquin is here right on schedule.


“He’s really not my type.”

Really? I mean, he’s clearly passionate about his art—the headphones he always wears are a bit much, maybe—but he’s not at all bad looking. And he’s easy pickings—he’d be coming around soon anyway to ask about Sergio. He’s Sergio’s roommate, after all. Better to seduce him now, before Sergio is in the shed. Love is blind; it’s unlikely he’d doubt us then, especially since he thinks we cut ties with Sergio.


“Go away, Rosary! Mommy’s busy!”

Just a moment, I’ll make sure she goes.


Joaquin and Juniper start chatting earnestly, discussing all manner of things. Mostly DJ-ing though—Juniper is quite the social butterfly, so it’s easy for her to wile her way into Joaquin’s affections. That’s half of why I chose her—I knew that she’d bring in the boys easily. I can only hope that her successor does such things at least half as well.


Juniper talks very little about herself—Joaquin’s heart is clearly rooted in his view of himself—but when she does, she talks about painting. She’s grown in skill so quickly—her creative tendencies likely helping her out there—that she’s already bringing in quite a bit of money. And she’s well on her way to finishing her Painter Extraordinaire aspiration too—she feels she only needs to complete a few excellent paintings and visit a museum before she’ll be near to truly masterful.


“He looks disinterested…”

Change the topic, hun. You can tell me all about your most recent pursuit later, once you’ve sent him home.


“Yeah, he liked it better when I complimented him. …Promise we can talk about it later?”



“I’ll tell him how handsome he looks again. He always seems to enjoy that.”

When Joaquin and Juniper finally come in the house, I get a little worried. Nightshade and Rosary are inside with them, and we don’t want another situation (with little Rosary especially) like we had on the porch. She’s awfully nosey, that one. I don’t tell them to do anything, but I silently will that they butt out.


Joaquin’s choices once in the house don’t really reassure me either. Or Nightshade’s. Honestly, for the set of a seduction, this looks more like a clusterf**k than a passionate love affair.


“For a supposedly omniscient being, you worry too much.”

We’ve discussed this—not omniscient. Just blessed with the ability to watch you and change the world and, you know, Create you. But the future? That’s up to you.

Just know that’s in your best interest to do as I ask.



I should have trusted Juniper. She has good instincts. And she obeys well, so that helps.


“He looks stunned… did I break him?”

Nah. I think he’s fine. He’s probably fine.


“So… Should I just send him home now? It’s not like he can get me pregnant yet.”

Yeah, good call.

Joaquin makes a disappointed face, but leaves at our request. At least he’s a respectful kind of a guy, when he’s not smushing his face into Juniper’s.


“You know… that was actually kind of fun. I know I said he wasn’t my type, but still… It’s kind of like a game, you know?”

That I do, my dear. That I certainly do.

Juniper, after finishing her grilled cheese, goes to bed. She thinks her day is done. But with her new role as mistress of the reaper (maybe literally, in the future?), things are unlikely to be so simple for Juniper ever again.


Don is hanging around.

Like the traditional drowning victim, he drips water around everywhere he goes and flings himself in and out of sinks. This doesn’t bother Juniper or any of the kids too much—they barely notice that he’s around, as they’re all in beds in other rooms—until Juniper, with her pregnancy-induced small bladder, wakes up to go to the bathroom.



“Oh my Creator, is that…?”

Yep. Hey there, Don.

The first thing that I notice is that Don and Juniper’s relationship bar hasn’t gone down at all—they’re still as close as they ever were. Weird, considering the fact that she technically killed him, but I guess he doesn’t see it that way. Or maybe in death he forgot about his pre-death trauma.

The second thing I notice is that, other than needing to pee, Juniper’s greatest need right now is to have a little fun.



“Is he here to haunt me???”

I don’t think so. He seems pretty into you still.

Hey, you know what would be fun?


 “Nuh uh. No. I’m keeping this casual.”

Oh, come on Juniper. You know you want to.


 “…no I don’t. It’s wrong. I was the reason he died, I shouldn’t be… desecrating his ghost, or whatever. Isn’t that like necrophilia or something?”

No, definitely not necrophilia. Probably something weird still, but it’s not like you’re sleeping with his corpse. And Juniper, dear, you’re not just the reason he died. You killed him. Remember that.


“As if I could forget…”

But you’re doing it anyway, huh?


“He’s hot. And you basically told me to. Go away.”

Alrighty. I’ll give you two some privacy.


Heh, not. Juniper would be better off realizing now instead of later that privacy from me isn’t a thing that she’s likely to get—and it’s really not something she should want, either. I’m pretty cool, for a Creator. I could be locking her in a room in exchange for her children—that’s more common in nature, you know, the mother dying for the sake of the child—but no. She’s getting to stay alive to enjoy her beautiful babies. She should appreciate me.


“That was so freaking weird. But also kind of really awesome. What the hell is wrong with me?”

Something, probably. But don’t worry about identifying it. It’s not that big of a deal. And really, who does it hurt? Don seemed to enjoy it too, before he disappeared at dawn.

As with any of the other unusual things in your life, it’s best to ignore the event and revel in the results. The end justifies the means, no?


“I’m eating grilled cheese. That came without harm. What’s wrong with that kind of means?”

The world isn’t like grilled cheese, and you know it.

Hey, at least you’re all full of fun again, right?



Yeah, you see? I have good ideas! Weird, disturbing ideas, but good ideas. Remember that, dearest.


“As if I could forget…”

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