Chapter Four: Janelle

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting! I’ve been on vacation for the holidays and didn’t have much time to write. To make it up to everyone, I’ll be posting twice daily for the next few days ❤ Enjoy!

Jane Anne,

We have not understood each other, I think, for quite some time. I fought so hard to enter this aristocratic life—the parties, the standing, the wealth—that I can’t imagine why you struggle against it so. We love you Jane Anne. Why do you want to leave us?

I’m sorry. That’s not what this letter is for. I already know that you have no wish to stay; or, at least, you have no wish to uphold our family name. I can’t change that, I finally think. I’ve pestered you enough. I’ve done all I can do. I just wonder where I went wrong in raising you.

You know, you were conceived the very same day my brother died. I’d struggled to conceive before then—so many attempts, so many disappointments—and though I was devastated by the loss, I held onto the hope that it was meant to be. That he would live on through you, perhaps. I was not disappointed. Not at all. You embody his spirit. You represent him so well. You are strong and brave and fiercely determined, even against your own family, because you have no doubt in yourself, and you have no doubt in what you want. That, at least, is how it has always seemed to me. I’ll admit, I’ve always been a bit jealous of that. My story was one of struggling to be good enough—not only in the world around me, but by my own estimation, to feel that I was worthy—and I hope that you maintain your confidence.

That is what I wanted to tell you. Hold that confidence firmly. People will try to break you down. They always do. As fiercely as you’ve fought against me, against your father, fight against those people too.

You deserve be strong in a way that I have never been. When the world tries to beat you down, let them hear you roar, my lion.

With all my love,

Janelle

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