Welcome to Poison Ivy, a variation on the 100 baby challenge! It will be full of life and death, flirting and drama, and, of course, lots of babies to coddle.
This is Juniper Grove, the first matriarch in our challenge. Look how cute she is. She’s romantic, family-oriented, and creative, and she aspires to be a Painter Extraordinaire. She wasn’t quite sure that was the aspiration for her—Big Happy Family seemed more appropriate in her opinion—but I convinced her that she was better off pursuing Painter Extraordinaire first. With the job prohibition, painting will be Juniper’s primary source of income, so with this aspiration she can acquire money and life satisfaction points at the same time.
She settled into a modest house in the Windenburg neighborhood. It wasn’t anything close to grand—honestly, it looked quite dilapidated.
“I am really not a fan of this.”
But Juniper is quite an optimist when it comes down to it, especially when her Creator is looking on over her shoulder, reminding her that everything is alright, so she settled down into the dilapidated life pretty easily.
“I’m getting good at this! I’ll be a great mom!”
That’s right, Juniper. A great mom to many great children.
…Or maybe not. How’d you spray pepper that far, Juniper? That’s a talent in and of itself, I’d say.
Given the meager surroundings out in the woods, Juniper was eager to get out of the house. More than that, she was eager to start on her quest! Deciding that she’d start easy and quiet, she set out to a coffee shop first thing in the morning.
Don Lothario was an easy first target.
We all know Don: romantic, noncommittal. Receptive to flirting, not quick to stick around. He’d be a perfect first baby daddy—he’s the definition of low-hanging fruit where woohooing is concerned.
That guy in the background, though-he looks suspicious. I don’t know who he is, but we mind have to find him and, um… take care of him. If he saw us with Don, he might ask questions later on.
Tell him about how lonely you are, Juniper. Guys are suckers for vulnerable damsels.
Now tell him about your tragic backstory—you could have daddy issues, yeah? But don’t lay it on too thick; you don’t want to scare him off.
It didn’t take long before Don was ready to be taken back to our house in the woods. I chose this lot because it was cheap, certainly, but it was also quite isolated—no one would interrupt the woohooing. Or any other, less savory, activities that would later take place.
Don actually looked surprised. I thought we were laying it on pretty thick, he should have expected that it was coming, but at least he didn’t reject us. Especially given Juniper’s technique-kinda seems like she just launched herself at him. Definitely could use some improvement.
He definitely didn’t reject us.
Look at that baby bump! Our first pregnancy is a slam dunk.